All wrestling fans are people who were horrible sinners in past lives.

This is a more serious thread. (sorta) Just try and be serious too, alright?

I'm gonna tell you what it's like to be a wrestling fan. It's a lonely existence, shelling out money for pay per views, buying t-shirts, being called a faggot on the street (they're right, literally all wrestling fans are all faggots).

You see, I'm what in "professional terms" is called a "smark". Which is basically a person who watches wrestling but knows a bit about the insides of how matches are worked, and backstage politics etc.

Now, generally smarks are more critical of wrestling. My overall critical nature doesn't help that. So when there's a story where a leprechaun wants to put his dick into a french/canadian woman's vagina, I almost feel physical pain.



Now, being a fan of this shit means you watch. Even if it's terrible, you watch. It's like a sort of instance where you only watch/read/whatever something in hopes that it gets better. But the thing is, when it's bad, it's really bad.

I can recall off the top of my head two storylines involving an obese black man being called "Sexual Chocolate" and impregnating an old woman who gave birth to a hand, and a feud for a world heavyweight championship title involving the brother of an undead wrestling being accused of committing necrophilia upon his deceased ex-girlfriend.



And even after this shit, people still continue to watch this shit. There's only one explanation; we like shirtless men.

TL;DR:

Spoiler:

All wrestlers have small dicks.

Jolly wrote:All wrestlers have small dicks.

This is also true.

Why can't professional wrestling just be real? Boxing/kickboxing/martial arts/etc. are.

Seriously. Why does pro-wrestling make itself silly and stupid by having phony scripted moves and dialogue?

It hurts to be body slammed.

Jolly wrote:It hurts to be body slammed.

So? It hurts to be slammed in the chest and face with a boxing glove.

Spackled wrote:Why can't professional wrestling just be real? Boxing/kickboxing/martial arts/etc. are.

Seriously. Why does pro-wrestling make itself silly and stupid by having phony scripted moves and dialogue?

Because it's for the spectacle. If it was real, you wouldn't see shit like this happening every other week. It'd be guys just punching each other over and over until one of them can be pinned, basically the same thing as UFC and such.

Tetris wrote:It'd be guys just punching each other over and over until one of them can be pinned, basically the same thing as UFC and such.

That would be much better than the retarded shit pro-wrestling puts out.

Spackled wrote:
That would be much better than the retarded shit pro-wrestling puts out.

It's really a 50/50 chance whether or not something is going to be terrible or awesome.

With wrestling, if something's terrible, then it's TERRIBLE, but if it's awesome, it's AWESOME.

Yeah, I miss the Attitude Era. It was cheesy in a lot of ways, but ti was also a helluva fun and incredibly unpredictable.

Spackled wrote:Why can't professional wrestling just be real?

Have you seen the stuff they do? If they were really trying to beat their opponent down and actually win something, there would be a lot of deaths on the job. Especially for the high-flyers.

Now, as far as the age old argument of "It's fake, why watch it?" It's about entertainment, not sports. It's meant to be entertaining. I mean, you gonna stop watching movies just because they tend to be fiction? I doubt it. But hey, different strokes for different folks.

Narcissy wrote:Yeah, I miss the Attitude Era. It was cheesy in a lot of ways, but ti was also a helluva fun and incredibly unpredictable.

There's really not much stuff that's ANYTHING like the attitude era, but the closest thing was actually pretty recently, about two weeks ago.



The thing is about all this crap, the attitude era is overpraised. Blood, sex, and cussing isn't really the keys to making a good product. It's like every other media of entertainment. It's entirely possible to make a funny movie without violence or over excessive cussing, so wrestling should be the same way.

Wrestling fans are just assholes. Literally every one, ever.

Especially me.

What the hell is the "Attitude Era"?

Spackled wrote:What the hell is the "Attitude Era"?

This might be a little long, but this a shortest version that I can think of without giving you an enormous rant about backstage politics and shit...

In 1997, WWE started taking on a more adult oriented tone. This is when guys like The Rock and Stone Cold became the icons that they are now.

Basically, they were thinking a more "Violence, sex, and cussing sells" and it did. There were a lot of more stories and characters that would never be shown again today. For instance, a wrestling porn star, or the aforementioned storyline about the necrophilia.

This was basically the cause of the ratings spike that pretty much saved WWE from bankruptcy, since they were dead in a ratings war against the now defunct (and ironically bought out by WWE) WCW for over a year.

It's highly regarded as one of the best eras in wrestling history, because it was so shocking and unpredictable.

[/faggotry]

Narcissy wrote:Have you seen the stuff they do? If they were really trying to beat their opponent down and actually win something, there would be a lot of deaths on the job.

So? Just keep the fuckin fake, soft, rubber, pillow, cushion, trampoline of a ring they have then.

Now, as far as the age old argument of "It's fake, why watch it?" It's about entertainment, not sports. It's meant to be entertaining. I mean, you gonna stop watching movies just because they tend to be fiction? I doubt it. But hey, different strokes for different folks.

Alright. But professional wrestling should not take itself so seriously.

Tetris wrote:Wrestling fans are just assholes. Literally every one, ever.

Especially me.

You're not an asshole, you're a faggot.

Spackled wrote:
So? Just keep the fuckin fake, soft, rubber, pillow, cushion, trampoline of a ring they have then.

It's really not that soft, it's basically wood with a tarp over it.

Tetris wrote:

Spackled wrote:
So? Just keep the fuckin fake, soft, rubber, pillow, cushion, trampoline of a ring they have then.

It's really not that soft, it's basically wood with a tarp over it.

Looks like a fuckin trampoline.

Spackled wrote:Alright. But professional wrestling should not take itself so seriously.

Yeah, they sure do take themselves too damn seriously, man.

Spackled wrote:
Looks like a fuckin trampoline.

Looks are real deceiving, eh?

Narcissy wrote:Yeah, they sure do take themselves too damn seriously, man.

Nice video. It was actually pretty funny. It's cool to see that pro-wrestlers are just actors, and that pro-wrestling is just one big, hilarious, obnoxious, scripted skit. And a comedy show at the side.

Looks are real deceiving, eh?

Nope. It's a trampoline.

Spackled wrote:
Nice video. It was actually pretty funny. It's cool to see that pro-wrestlers are just actors, and that pro-wrestling is just one big, hilarious, obnoxious, scripted skit. And a comedy show at the side.

Essentially. And many of the wrestling fans are aware of it. I, for one, am. And it's not like the owner of the company tries to hide it. Well, anymore.

Bruce Lee.

I watched wrestling when I was like, five-eight.
Back in teh nienteez.

when kurtsuckdickbane just killed himself